It’s a beautiful Saturday afternoon here in Oshawa. The sun is shining, we have a fresh layer of snow blanketing the garden, and there is a peace in the air that can be tangibly felt by not only me but by my three furry companions who are all close by at this moment. So, I thought I’d quit the procrastination and write about a positive outcome from last week’s recognition that I’ve been overspending, which has for me at times been another form of bingeing that I have been participating in.
I’ve been doing a lot of tapping so as not to once more fall down the rabbit hole of self-loathing and depression. It has meant forgiving myself for my errors, accepting my weaknesses, and acting in a way that is more authentic and self-empowering.
It’s been a sobering time, I’ve not wanted to write, and physically I’ve not been in great shape, but this is what just a few days have brought: The cancellation of two unnecessary memberships, talking honestly to my husband about how I’ve been feeling and acting, slowing down on the Starbucks indulgence, and taking another look at my earning power and how to increase it. I’ve allowed myself time to rest and not punished myself mentally when I’ve eaten less than healthy foods. It has also meant that my hair pulling has significantly slowed down!
Why am I writing all this? Well, perhaps it’s the new level of self-acceptance that has come with this breakthrough. The first step to self-esteem and healing is to be authentic. And to become authentic, we must be honest with ourselves about our own strengths and weaknesses. Only then can we be free.
Self-acceptance, taking an honest look at who we are and how we got here, and accepting our situation as it is, is an important step in clearing the blocks to healing. In fact, it is so important that when practicing EFT we begin by tapping on the karate chop point and accepting the feelings as they are because to deny that the feelings or the situation exists are about as helpful as the ostrich digging his head in the sand!
Self-acceptance is not giving up, but more a way of letting go of what we cannot change. It is only then that we can focus on what we can control! I believe that in many self-help forums, accepting that we have a problem is the first step in making a positive change.
When tapping, first we accept, then we voice the negative feelings about our situation. It brings us quickly and calmly into a reframing of those negative punishing thought into more loving affirming ones that can only then allow for real change.
Self-acceptance is the key to inner peace. Inner peace is brought about by deeply understanding that imperfection is part of being human. I am at times my own worst enemy. I have been harder on myself than literally anyone else in this lifetime. I’m sure this is the case for many of you too! We need to give up the idea that punishing ourselves will bring about the necessary change. We must allow ourselves the same love and acceptance that we give to our most precious child. I say to my girls: “You are perfect in your imperfections”, I’m learning to say that to myself too!
The Journey to Self Acceptance
