We aren’t born inauthentic. Anyone who has been around a newborn or young child has surely noticed that child is completely themselves, not afraid to cry or scream when necessary, not embarrassed by bodily functions, completely curious about the world. So what is it that changes along the way that makes us so often feel inadequate or insecure in some way?
I believe it is the unconscious mis-interpretations of traumas or mishaps that we take on in order to feel safe in our family and the larger world. Our early experiences, whether in conscious memory or not, create our perceptions; how we see the world. Everything from that moment forward is then viewed through the leans that we created, and therefore we experience story after story that affirms the beliefs that we have created about ourselves.
Unfortunately, this usually makes us feel somehow flawed. Therefore we feel that to stand out and be noticed, we must somehow be better than, more beautiful or handsome than, smarter than, more wealthy than, simply to get ahead. Cue inauthenticity!
True healing comes from recognizing the stories for what they are, limiting beliefs, and then reframing them in a way that affirms our true magnificence.
By the same token, it becomes so much easier to understand others for their motivations to stand out even if it means deception, for they too continue to suffer from similar insecurities. How can we not love others for simply expressing the same fears that we have all had to deal with?